Okay, angel.
Good morning, yes mam, yes sir.
You black out the sky then we pick flowers, bought you a bathing suit, for all my addictions, all my bad habits, you shine through, you make me so guilty, I am crying over spilt milk and you are the life we all wanted, we all thought we could get,not even close, can you really imagine jails, think about it, we put people behind bars, how am I going to ever love you the way you deserve in a life like this, shower to cover the sweat,drink huge fountain sodas to get a little closer to you on the same ride home, I don't even know how to talk about this,actually I never know how to say anything, but people thought I did, you the labyrinth, you the yellow-brick-road, you the genie, you get three wishes, be careful what you ask for, there is life then there is you, fuck me, fuck airplanes, fuck snow and ice and drunk assholes, these are all the excuses I come up with, I do this on a daily basis, I mean you tell me, what am I suppose to do? You were every colour and some new ones no one had ever saw, you every candy store trip I took as a child feeling rich with a bag full of sugar, baby you make sugar taste like nothing, everything goes bland, there is only you, and maybe I am just trying to hide and stay away cause sometimes,I do not know what to do, sometimes, I am not so good and I can not stand it when you are disappointed in me, see I was great at bowling but only with the bumper lanes, see I was doing this, capable enough to make beautiful things out of the fact that today I am scared, today I am worthless, today I know I spend my life doing things that are pointless that do not make me proud, everyone is like this, I am just honest, a little brave, I am trying to make something for you, I am trying so hard to do what I can with what I have got and I know it is not much but I will come up with ways to make it last, so what I am getting at and also avoiding is I am thinking about light, about the god that does not exist but I feel in my chest, that overload of warm electricty, blood to the brain, the first morning I woke up next to you. I know what heaven would be like and I also know I could not just pass go, that I would have to still be doing this, grinding my teeth away, all my friends,telling me I need to get help, that I am crazy, that they are worried about me, I am one of the most real, most diplomatic people I know, you think my life is great but it is not, roll the dice, double or nothing, love you all, but really you can say you understand but how can you if you are not writing something almost mirror copy, it is one thing to understand, it is another to feel so much you have to scream and whine and cry on a page for your sorry self and everyone loves it but like I said, I already know what it is like to be filled with light, so really nothing I do now matters, it's all a weak initation of what you are, what you showed me, what we shared, turn the light on and off and on and off, I just hope this road leads to you,terrible hair, laundry way past due, electric toothbrush, you are the only thing I need to know, the only thing I need to remember, I am just trying not to love you, it is so hard, we push eachother to the limits and no one can care or love like us, quicksand, riptide, landmine, sucker punch, my tongue in your mouth, tasting your DNA.