This morning I woke up and then I got dressed and did all the things you do all day, everyday.

Worrying and then not giving a damn.

Feeling scared and then feeling brave and then feeling scared again.

All the different emotions you feel everyday you really only share with yourself.

But then for the first time ever, I felt completely alone.

I mean totally on my own.

I mean, what I really mean I can't easily describe except that in here,

in this thing called me, there is just me.

All alone, and it just isn't enough.

Someone can help me and reassure me and talk to me and care for me and to think of me but they can't come inside of me and be me with me.

All the time I feel so alone.
Don't you?

Tell me it just isn't me because if it is just me as I suspect then I think I really must be going mad.

All the things that I do all day are only distractions to keep me from remembering this awful truth.

I can't do this, I really can't.

I can't tell you or myself what I am thinking, it's too awful to even think about.

Even now as I type my hands are trembling.

I can't even type what I have to type to get it out of my brain to put it onto this screen to let it out somehow.

Because I know that it really is just only me.... Alone